I GOT A JOB!!!

I GOT A JOB!!!

Today started out a crappy day. I woke up with a headache, AGAIN. Earl was nice omic relief as always. He's decided the couch is his bed, along with my bed being his bed, lol. I don't do well when it's hot outside. I prefer Fall, not summer weather. I like a calm slightly sunny day, no humidity, slight wind, when summer comes around. I like thunderstorms, lol. I'm probably a typical redhead.

Anyways, the places I applied at today, most not so promising. There's a part-time job at a clothing store that might be. When I got home, I called a couple of the places that I've applied at in the past few weeks. One couldn't give me a clear answer for a few days. One told me they were loking for someone longterm, not someone to work for a couple of weeks, aka summer job. And here's the thing. Yes, I am looking for a summer job, but also possibly one that I could work weekends at when I go back to school, or can transfer to a location closer to school when the semester starts up in mid-August. So, naturally, I was pretty bummed, with every place giving me either the runaround, or just saying no. So when I got a call from Gymboree, a children's clothing store, I had no expectations. And... I GOT THE JOB!!!

The manager that interviewed me last week said its an average of 8-15 hours a week. she said it would be a couple hours during the week, but more hours available on the weekend. Plus, it works well with having a 2nd job. I think I'm getting paid $7.50 an hour, which I'm happy with (I was only hoping for 7.30, the states's minimum wage). I'll find out what day I start working (the week of June 6) by 5pm next Wednesday because of the holiday is making the store crazy busy this week. I'm still looking for a 2nd job, so I'll be hitting the trail again tomorrow.

Onto baby news...


J took Maddie in for a checkup earlier this week. Her hips are still clicking, but they do NOT need to be put into a cast at this point since she's grown. In terms to H and the unborn Liam, her due date was yesterday. No baby yet, according to both the dad and the baby's facebook pages (since H unfriended me awhile back, I can't see what she's putting on her page, so who knows. The funny thing about this, is that When H was born, she was born a month early. I have a feeling that within the next week, by next Tuesday, she's going to be induced, and baby Liam will be here. When Mom and Dad go down to see them, I'll still stay up here. One, because someone has to stay and take care of Earl. Two, because H and I just recently threw up the peace flags, so I'm giving her some space. She gets 45 day maternity leave, so her, Pa and the baby will probably come u to meet everybody, since most can't come down to their base. If they don't come up, then I'll see him when he comes up here in August when they get deployed.

Well, I gotta get some rest. Going to get up and hit the trail in the morning. Hopefully, I'll have news soon on the Liam front, along with the possible 2nd job front.

--On a side note.. I was taking care of my neice last week, because J had to get taken to the ER (They were putting new carpet into her apartment building in the halls, no warning beforehand though she told them about her allergy to the glue used in carpeting). I can now say, I have a new appreciation for all those single parents out there, especially my Aunt. Granted her kids are now in their 20's and are settling down, plus were in late childhood when she got a divorce, but still. It is NOT EASY. The one comforting note was that Maddie apparently likes my chest, lol! yes, i have one, and if it keeps her from crying, and helps her fall asleep, then I thank genetics, lol. I also watched RHONJ the other night, the episode where Theresa has her baby. It put me straddling the baby/no baby debate (much later i life, once i graduate, and hopefully am married). They showed her getting an epidural. Now to recap what that is, its when you get a needle in your spine, creating an iv line, that deliver pain meds to you, canceling out the pain from contractions. Now, I don't like needles. I hate getting shots. Now, this is kinda hypocritical/ironic since I dealt with getting a tattoo and plan on getting another one in the future. They show how big the needle is.. Ya, not doing that! THey will have to asemble it out of my view, out of hearing, and keep me distracted while they put it in. Possibly have someone punch me out or something, lol just kidding. But ya, That needle is intimidating!

Well, now it is good night. I'll see you on the flipside :)

Late night Ramblings

The reason I'm writing this so late is because I'm babysitting, literally. I'm watching my neice Maddie, waiting for her mom (my sister J) to return from the ER with my mom. You see, in J's apartment building, they've started putting down new carpet in the hallways. J's always gotten migraines before in this type of situation. However this time, she started having breathing problems. So she called her husband Ph who was at work to come take her to the ER, and Dad to send me over to watch Maddie. Maddie's been off and on good since they left. She fights sleep, so when she's tired, she screams. She's finally tired herself out on her parent's bed, but the last time she fell asleep tonight and I moved her to her bassinet, she woke up and started crying again. So I'm just waiting for the call saying they're on the way home, and then here (J forgot her keys, so I have to stay up not only to watch the babykins, but to let them in.)

So, countdown til Baby Liam (H's son) is born has begun. I realized during my job interview at Gymboree today that May 25th is only now 5 days away, so she could pop anytime! Then, Maddie's going to have competition for cutest baby alive, lol.

The job hunting is going good. I've had afew interviews. I'll have to cover them next week (hopefully by then I'll have more answers) because the munchkin is starting to rub her face in her sleep, whch has been waking her up tonight. Laters :)

Hi! My name is Earl :)

So, yesterday, my momand I are getting ready to go out, (her to work, me job interview) dad calls us. He says Earl has been medically cleared, and we can bring him home that day! So I stopped by Petsmart on the way home to pick up a couple of toys and treats.

He's so cute! He's a yellow lab, around 3 years old. We think he may have a bit of great dane in him, but he's adorable (you think Ugly Dachsund (sp?), lots of energy, lethal tail. He's on the skinny side right now. From what the shelter told dad, when he was brought in around Apr25, he was 62 lbs, and as of when we got him on Monday, he's up to 84 lbs. You can count his ribs now, so it's scary to think about what he may have looked like/the condition he was in when he first came to the shelter. WE spent over 2 hours outside monday night, while dad put his cage together (he got the largest they had at the store- as i call it, its like the queen sized bed for dogs, lol), then went over to J's to spend the night (she had a scare in the car with Maddie.she's okay. she just spit up a little, and more wanted to come up, but since in a car seat babies are leaning back, it made it a bad situation. she's okay, promise.) Spent the day with her, Ph and Maddie, who was pretty much all smiles with me when she was awake. Could it have been all the faces at hr? yes, probably, lol.

Being around Maddie, it makes me think about (waaaay later on down the road) having kids. I would wait atleast 5 more years though, when I'm out of college, and (hopefully) married. The thing that scares me is when kids hit prepubescent/teenage years. I remember my teens (seeing as they were not that long ago, lol) and I was a hormonal mess, lol. I don't know if I would be able to do what my mom did. She is such a strong woman to have had 3 kids within a 5 year timespan (J, the oldest is 5 years older than me and H is 3 years older than me). I love kids, especially babies. My sister J and my mom are always telling "it's different when it's your kid" and maybe that's true, but I'm still wary, which truthfully I think is smart on my part.

Well, I should go. Mom's getting home soon from work, and Earl's going to probably need to go out one last time before being crated for the night. Below is a picture. THis is my first attempt at posting pictures, so please feel free to leave comments, and if it doesn't show up, please let me know.

Laters :)

A little awkwardness never hurt anyone, right?

So, I've been jobhunting lot this past week or so. I've already had an interview with one place, and have two other job interviews st up for the next week. Hopefully I get one of them. Friday night, I spent over at J's with her, nana and Maddie, becauseJ wasn't feeling well. It was fun just lounging around, watching kim possible movies with them. The thunderstorm- or should I say wimpy storm- that went through was rather disappointing. Yesterday...ya, for the most part was great. Woke up to J holding Maddie on my arm, then was greeted with Maddie smiling at me (yes, I know that baby has me wrapped). Left there for a short bit, brought my friend B over to see Maddie for the first time. After hanging out there, B and I went out for food, then I dropped her off at her place because she had to go to her grandma's house that evening.

I went out to K's grad party. It was fun... I hung out with practiucally everybody there.. except my ex that showed up. Apparently K's boyfriend and another friend of ours ran into him at his work, and invited him. Thankfully, they warned me.  I was fine, nervouse, but fine. You see, this was the first time seeing him in over a year, since the breakup and dropping off the trash- sorry, "gifts"- he had given me while were dating (I didn't want the constant reminder of him everywhere I went. I think everyone is nervous the first time they see their ex out in a public after breaking up. Thankfully he didn't bring C, his girlfriend (he had dated her before the last time we dated, and is not dating her again, also living with her and her family) because that would've pushed it. I played nice to a degree- meaning, I stayed away from him,so not to be tempted to be violent. Which I wasn't really tempted to do that.. til the end of the night.

You see, Patty (K's mom) was saying what all the sleeping arrangements were, and was listing them off to him in the kitchen (I was in the living room, and those of us in there were kinda listening). He almost stayed! That would've been my limit. When there was that possibility for  aminute or so, in my head and in the texts I sent to my friend El, "I don't care that I've had a little to drink, I'm not sleeping in the same room to him!" I was all for driving home if he ended up stayin the night, because we would've mostlikely ended up sleeping in the same room, and that would be past my tolerance limit. Luckily, he walked back to C's place, not spending the night. And yes, I do have a small amount of residual anger, but not nearly as much as I used to. Was I nervous to be around him, yes, because I didn't know what was going to go down. But did I have feelings for him, as in did I want him back? NO, absolutely not. I fully realized that last night, I was almsot completely sure, but solidified that belief when I saw him, and had no urge to break his neck/balls whatsoever.

After he left, a friend of K's came over, one of her magic card-playing friends. Let me tell you, he was cute. He had a slight swimmers build, cute butt, nice on the eyes, funny. I don't know if I would ever date him, but he was atleast nice to look at. There seemed to be easy banter between me and him the few times we spoke/sparred when we were all getting ready to call it a night. James (the mutual friend of K and I that was with her bf & ran into my ex) slept on the chair in K's room, everybody else left at the party (minus her mom, stepdad and baby cousin) were downstairs. There was some jokes about who Andrew (the cute guy) would wake up spooning with, because he didn't have a blanket for a lil bit until K brought a ouple down. She ended up going back down and taking one back for me so we wouldn't have to battle over her blanket. K and I ended up "sharing" her bed. Her boyfriend didn't stay (his mom's rule). I say the "sharing" part lightly, because it was a twin bed, and I had enough to barely cover laying on my side. I woldn't have been the least surprised to have woken up on the floor.

We all woke up early this morning. Most of them were going to sunday school then church service, one was going to work. Me? I woke up, got my shoes and purse, and went home to get some actual sleep (kept waking up to find K sprawled over more of the bed.) My dad thought I was hungover. Truely, I wasn't. I'm not a morning person to begin with, and I don't like sunlight, hense why I'm a pale ginger. But combine the two with slep deprivation? You have what can pass as a hangover I guess.

When I finally came downstairs a couple hours after waking back up, Dad was nowhere to be found. His bedroom light was on, but his car wasn't in the driveway. I think he may be visiting Earl (the dog we're getting as early as tomorrow if he's medically cleared by then) but who knows, he may be at a "nerd Herd" model meeting (modeling kits, like toy airplanes, cars, etc.)

Well, I'lll post again next week, giving progress on the job search, and Earl, and the other parts of my life. Catch you on the flipside :)

I went to put a pan away, and couldn't get up!

I am so sore you guys, it's not even funny! Well, it is, if youtake into account what happened in the kitchen a lil bit ago. You see, my mom is at work right now, so my dad asked me to empty the dishwasher after it cooled down. So I was putting away the big pan dad uses to cook chili and stuff in, and I had to kneel down on the floor to put it away. Once I got down there though... I couldn't move! I was sooo sore from moving out of my dorm earlier, and then lugging my stuff into my parents house. I think in the fall and later when I graduate, I'm going to hire movers, lol!

So, as you've probably guessed, I'm done for the summer! Now to find a job! I have a couple leads on some, so here's to hoping I can get one, and help pay for school, since I'm gonna need it. I'm on my own for loans this year (mom's not helping in that department. I appreciate her help these past few years though!)

I was about a half hour late leaving today. My last final (Rhetoric and Reasoning) was supposed to start at noon. The prof showed up 25 minutes late! He then had to have someone else proctor the exam because he had a doctors appointment or something along those lines to get to. I get that he had other things to do, but that test takes a long time. So he told the class we would have until 3 when the proctor had to leave for office hours. After he left, the proctor corrected him, saying he had to leave at 2:30. When 2 rolled around, those of us tha were still left and didn't have another exam to hurry to had to go to another room because another class needed to take their final in that room. I think I did ookay on it, atleast passing. I think I did much better than I did on the midterm, and especially the term project (no one did good on that, but thank god for the curve). Here's to hoping I got somewhat high on the curve :)

I'm going to try and post once a week or so during the summer. I will keep you updated on the job prospects. Well, I'm going to go lie down or something. laters :)

tired of playing the game

I'm so tired right now, i'm not sure any of this is going to make any sense. I was up working  on a comm class project until after 4 this morning,t hen didn't get to sleep til around 5 or later because of a housemate's antics and my own internal clock going "let's mess with her a lil more."

This is the last week of school before finals next week. After around Tuesday, I'm back home til early August. Hopefully, I will be able to find a summer job so i'll be able to return to school in the fall. If not S%$^ ! I'm on my own next year, meaning the only help I'll be getting is from financial aid, because mom is not helping with loans this year (the past few years i've gotten a loan and so has she- greatly appreciated.) I thinkk my chances are somewhat good, seeing as most colleges aren't going to be out for the summer until at least a week after me, not including high schoolers. As far as I know, they're out at the end of may/beginning of june. If I hadn't had class and housing signups last wednesday, i might have already had a job lined up for the summer with Target. Instead, I'm hoping they call back, and putting in more applications.

Dad and I haven't spoken for a week, since he went off on me for putting feelers out there about possible dogs. I sent him and mom the possibilities. Not as "get this dog now" but as i looked using the perimeters you set, and at this point this is what is out there. He took it the other way, and bitched me out via facebook.

Well, i better get to finalizing this powerpoint presentation I have to give in class today. I think my dark circles have dark circles...

Sobbing Mess

I am numb right now, which is better than the sobbing mess I was earlier.

I got very little sleep last night because I was working on my phil1105 term project due today (got it done thankfully). Plus I had to wake up to find one last part that was needed for the project plus print everything out. The day was good.. until a little before 3.

I got a call from my dad. He asked me where I was. I told him "the dorm, why?" He then proceeded to tell me Dudley had a stroke earlier in the day. When my dad got home from work, he and my mom shuffled cars, put dudley in the car, and drove to the vet. Usually, when they get to the vet, dudley tries to climb off the front seat and under my dad's legs. he didn't even move this time. They had to get a stretcher to bring him into the vet office. Dad held him as they put him to sleep. According to dad, his health has been deteriorating even more since when I was home two weeks ago. He wasn't eating treats, begging for snacks, more lethargic than he usually was.

I know somewhere in me, that this is a good thing. That he's no longer in pain. That he's now with Lexie in heaven and I'll see him again some day. But right now, all I feel when I allow myself to feel, is the sadness. I wasn't there with him. To add to the sadness- he was put down in the same room we put Lexie (a dog we had since I was 1 1/2 years old, put her down 11 years ago) down in. Plus, it was dad's birthday today. And on top of all that, I'm supposed to go home tomorrow.

I don't know how I'm going to be able to go in that house tomorrow. It won't be the same, feel the same. I just don't know.

busy next few weeks

So, just a heads up: I'm going to be somewhat busy the next few wees, with finals in about 3 weeks, term projects due within the next week (including one due tomorrow- EEP!), so I may not have as much time to post on here. And no, I have not forgotten the fictional blog I am going to start. That I will put on hold until after finals week (my school gets out the last week of april, ahead of most other colleges by atleast two weeks from what I've heard) so that it won't be 1)half-assed and 2)distracting me from school.

So, I'm going home this weekend. My dad's birthday is Thursday, so it is kinda a mixture of things- a happy b-day for him, a check up on Dudley, and to see the rest of the family that lives close by, like my sister and her family (Ph, Maddie, possibly Nana if they have her this weekend).

Am I the only one that detests/hates sunlight? I feel like I'm in the minority by hating it. It's not like I can help it. Sunlight causes me to burn, even with sunscreen, and hurts my eyes. Gotta love the fact I have pretty much all the precursors for sin cancer- fair skin, freckles, recessive eye traits (blue/green eyes), recessive hair traits (red/blonde). I made the mistake last summer of going outside without any sunscreen , on a CLOUDY day.  What most forget is that even though the sun is "hidden' by the clouds, the rays are actually being magnified through the clouds since clouds are moisture-packed, so it's worse to be out without sunscreen on a cloudy day in the summer. Anyways, that day, I went to a county fair near my grandparents house with my then-boyfriend. By the time we headed back to our hometown, I was radioactive sunburnt lol! I was pulsing with heat, let alone my eyebrows (blonde eyebrows that you can't see without a sunburn, lol) were glowing. The heat of the burn didn't go away for a few days, I couldn't stand hot showers for a week or so, had to take luke-warm/slightly cold showers for a while while the blisters that formed on my shoulders healed. What made it worse is that I had a summer job, and the shirts/brastraps i wore for the job rubbed right on the worst burned parts. I was a crispy critter. It was up there with the worst sunburn I've ever had- summer of 3rd grade, went to camp for about 4-5 days, wore sunscreen- i think spf 15 (it was mandatory by the counselors) everyday, put it on multiple times a day. the last day i was taken to the nurses office and had calamine lotion put on me because i was the color of a dark adobe brick. I was THAT RED. had blisters on both shoulders, one being the size of a quarter. Let's just say aloe vera became my friend that summer, lol.

Well, I'm going to hop off here, because I have class at 2, and the roommate is annoying my just by being in the room. Sunlight + warmer temps + cranky redhead = BADNESS/short fuse. I will try to blog soon, but if not, I'll resume in May.

Tough Weekend

So, last week (from wednesday on) was hell for me. you see, I should never read Anne Sexton and Sylvia Plath for the same class on the same day.. it tends to be a somewhat bad omen. Last year, on the day when that happened, my boyfriend at the time broke up with me. This year, I got a call that day from my dad saying we may have to put or dog down that weekend. Needless to say, I was a wreck the rest of the week. I went home that weekend to see him and everybody. We took him to the vet. Luckily, the vet wanted to try a liquid pain med on him, to see if that helped. It did that night. Next day, he was sick puppy (one of the side effects of the meds was stomach irritation- CHECK). He's bounced back since then, so he's not going anywhere for the time being. After the vet visit, Mom, J, Maddy, Ph and Aiy (J's stepdaughter) went to H's in-laws to let them meet Maddy. We found out when we got there, we found a surprise-- Pa (H's husband) was there. Turns out, he had flown back that weekend (without H, seeing as she's in her last trimester) to ride his motorcycle back down to the base. Seeing as both him and H are pissed at me, it was awkward to be in the same room as him.

I found out later from J and Ph why H and Pa are mad at me. Part of it i already knew (the phone call suggesting she call J before she had the baby, calling her out on her bs excuse.) She apparently told J that I bitched her out on the phone when I called her. That is not the case. I suggested she call J, and when H said no and gave her excuses, I said "Fine, Bye," and hung up before I went off on her. Apparently she also was pissed at me over a status message I had from early March. You see, H and her husband created a facebook page for their unborn child. At the time that I posted the message, I hadn't heard the explanation of why they created it (they're both deploying a couple of months after their child is born, so it's to keep tabs on him.) the status message was something along the lines of (i guess im the lesser of the crazies in my family- and then i listed them creating the fb page and my mom's obsession for it as well.. H took that, in her preggo hormonal state, as me calling her crazy. As in a derogatory way instead of the joking/comical way.

You see, I call myself crazy, in a jokingly way. I also call myself a Bitch, cuz frankly, I can be one. I was not calling her insane in a mean way. Should have stayed out of the whole calling J? probably. My motives in making that suggestion to her were that she could empathize with J since she was also pregnant. Was my timing in calling her out on her bs good?  No, seeing as she has a stressful job, getting ready to deploy, all while getting ready to bring a child into the world in the next couple months that she won't have much time to bond with. But was I being mean and malicious towards her in any of my actions? ABSOLUTELY NOT.

My problem right now is whether or not I should try to clear the air before she gives birth or wait til she's less hormonal and someone able to hear the truth. I just.. I don't know if I should wait, but at the same time, I know if I try and explain my motives now and try and clear the air, her high hormone levels due to pregnancy are going to misconstrue it.

So there's my dilemma. Now what to do about my degree audit...

She's adorable!

I went home this past weekend to see my new niece. Jenni was induced on Tuesday around 8am, had her via c-section on Wednesday around 6:30am. There have been several in the family that have joked that she'll need to reserve a hospital bed on her 21st birthday, since she was born on St. Patty's Day. She's a wiggle worm, and so adorable. She's got all of us wrapped around her little pinky already. Baby Maddison Grace is a sleeper, though when you wake her p to eat, it's best to have the bottle ready, or else she will start sounding like a little tea pot.

So, as I figured, H called Mom and Dad and blabbed about what I did (see previous post). I'm not really surprised, though I found it interesting to hear that she's not only freezing out our side of her family, but her in-laws as well. I went on facebook Sunday night when I got back, and (i'm not completely sure of my motivations, maybe I was bored?) I by chance decided to go to her fb page. She unfriended me, lol! I find her pettiness hilarious, and she's supposed to be the more mature, older one! I already know I won't get to know her son until after she and her husband deploy overseas. I've already made the decision (and our parents agree/understand) that when the parents go down to meet their grandson/H and her husband/her pets, since someone needs to stay up here to watch Dudley, I'll be the one to stay here. It was a no-brainer. I mean, we don't get along, and there would be layers of tension especially since I called her out on her bulls*&%. So I took it (at least my part) out of the equation. Would I like there to be some semblance of a relationship between us? yes. However, I've put myself out there only to be blown off/made fun of, so I can't do that anymore. I'll stick up for her, however I won't sit here and say we are best friends. As I've always thought, blood makes you relate, not family. Family is people that get to know you, know your ups and downs, and still choose to be around you.

Well, that's all for right now. I'll try and update more this weekend. Laters.

S$&% list, here i am again...

Well, I'm back. Here on the blog, and about to be (if not already) on at least a couple people in my family's shit lists. I'll explain in a second.

Spring Break was okay. The "event" started the Friday i went home. I met mom and J over at J and Ph's apartment. While there, it was discovered that j had been having contractions, lasting for about 45seconds) every 5 minutes for over an hour. She called the obgyn, Ph carted her off to the hospital on his suggestion (J's due date is the 19th). mom and I stayed there, helped clean up a bit. They came back awhile later, saying she was in labor, but she wasn't dilated, and her water hadn't broke. Given the option of staying there to walk around for an hour or go home and rest, she chose the latter. So, Mon-Fri of my spring break, I spent at their apartment, having "preggo watch" as I coined it, while Ph worked night shift. It was fun, excluding the fact that J was still having contractions every 2 minutes. So at her obgyn appointment Wednesday, her doc told her that either way, she was having the Alienette Tuesday, and might have to have a C-section, seeing as even with the inducing drugs, they might not make her cervix dilate.So, god willing, I will be a proud Aunt this time tomorrow!

Now, onto the reason I'm on at least 1 or 2 people's shit lists in my family. As I have stated in the past (I think) my sister H and I are not the closest. Truthfully, we have no relationship. The times we have gotten along have been flukes in my opinion. Anyways, with what all happened with J, mom, J and I all tried to get a hold of H and her husband. Never heard back from them. Dad kept them in the loop via voicemail what was going on, since the never responded to texts, or voicemails, or even emails/facebook messages. And yet they were able to get on facebook.... So, on my way to class today, I called her husband, since we usually have better luck getting a hold of him. I told him what was going on with J tomorrow. His response was "we're ectied." However his tone didn't match. So before I went into class a little walk later, I called H, suggesting to her that since they've commiserated in the past over both of them being pregnant, and since J was probably failry nervous about the induction and probable C-section, that she should call her. Her response was "I'm busy with work, and since she's probably getting calls from everyone and their mother right now, I'll just leave her alone." I said "Fine, Bye."  and hung up on her. Needless to say I was peeved going into class.

And I can see where her explanation makes sense.She does work a long day, is pregnant herself, gearing up for an August deployment. However, her ability to not see how hearing from her would mean more than hearing from countless others that weren't pregnant or her sister, baffles me. Needless to say, I was "stewing" in class. So, around 8 or so, I sent her a text, saying "she may be hearing from many people, but none of them are also pregnant besides you and ph's sister-in-law &you trump that. busy yet can get on facebook?"  About 15minutes later, my phone was lighting up from her calling. I pulled the childish thing and ignored it. I ended up having to turn my phone off. Yes, it was catty to ignore, but in my (catty &pms-ing) mind, I was just returning what the rest of us have been getting from her forever. Sadly (from my perspective strangely) she did not leave a voicemail, or text back. No, but I am pretty the phone call she placed to our mother earlier may have had to do with me "stirring the hornets nest", so to speak.

That is why I have a feeling I'm at least on H's and her husband's shit lists. After she gets a hold of the parents, I might recieve some  stern phone calls at the very least from them. J might be peeved. Ph will be slightly peeved but find it kinda funny. I wouldn't even be surprised if our Aunt C might call me if she hears about it.

I know, you are not supposed to add stress to a pregnant woman, and to that sense I am slightly remorseful. But I will not apologize for calling her out on her being there just by lending an ear to J. do I wish the timing was better, yes. Do I think this is over just the fact she won't call J? Probably not. I have a feeling repercussions from this little "outburst" I'm having with her are going to be felt for a while.

Well, I'll get back to posting once a week after this week. I have a couple of big things due this class (PowerPoint presentation due Fri, 6-8 page paper critiquing the message of an episode of South Park-- ya, not as fun as it sounds) but I'll be able to post after I return from seeing my niece this weekend- going home to meet her since I can't be there tomorrow or Wednesday.

WEll, I'm off for a while. Laters.

Ow Ow Ow.. and Spring Break

Well, I dunno why my back is doing this, but it's being an ASHAT! For some unknown reason (and I really mean that- no clue what caused this) my mid-to-lower back to the right of my spine is being annoyingly painful. It started sometime around 10pm last night. It's not constant, but when I turn, or try to lay on my left side (which is really annoying, because I mainly sleep on my left side!)- pretty much when the right side isn't completely straight, it starts to hurt somewhat badly. I had to bite my lip in class earlier today to keep from cussing, all because i turned slightly in my chair. I probably will not be able to participate in BellyDancing class at 4pm, which sucks, because it's the last class before Spring Break starts for SSU on FRIDAY!

I went home this past weekend to help J and Ph move into their new apartment. It's pretty nice, and close to our parent's house. J's due on the 19th of March, so she could pop the alienette out any time now. She's hoping for hier baby girl to come late, on the 23rd, because when she has her, Ph gets two weeks off work, and if she has her then , he'll be able to take care of them and handle his daughter from a previous relationship (she'll be with them for her spring break.) If she goes before then, there will be a period of time where it'll be J the baby and her stepdaughter, which would be incredibly stressful.

Selfishly, I'm kindof hoping she gives birth while I'm home on spring break. Granted, she's already showing signs she's close- water retention (swollen ankles anyone?), belly button strating to pop out, boobs "growing ginormous" (they already were huge, blame the genetics) and the belly popping out more. As of Saturday, she was at 37 weeks, so it's okay for the baby to come anytime.

I'm applying for summer jobs like crazy right now. I'm hoping to get a job at the Columbus Zoo, if not an internship there, because that's where I want to work when I get out of college. While I'm home on spring break, I'll be able to hang out with the few hometown friends I still have, like MW. The last time I saw and hung out with him was New Years. Pretty much when I go home during the semester, I hang around home the whole time, do stuff with family. Most of my hometown friends I've drifted apart from, which is sad, but expected.

I find out how I did on one of my midterms tomorrow. I'm hoping I atleast passed the thing, because from what I remember the prof saying, some of the questions were up to interpretation, adn some had to be in a certain wording, so I may be screwed in that respect.

During Spring Break, I probably won't be able to post, but I may try during the week, depending on what is gonig on. Laters!

grrrrrrr

I feel like a growing ball of rage right now. One of my friends knows what is going on, but she is not a reader of this blog (none of my friends are, seeing as I have not/will not tell them the address of it for good reason) so I'll fill the rest of you in. I have not felt very well all day. Though I am starting to feel better, the irritability is sticking around, making this petty (yes, i'll admit it) situation that much more out of hand.

Back to today. I'm sitting in my room, debating on whether or not to go to bellydancing class (an elective here at school, a "destressor" class for me) because i'm having dizziness, headaches and nausea (and before you ask, i am NOT pregnant. I would have to have had sex recently for that to be possible.) I decided to suck it up, and at least attempt to go. While I'm trying to find my gym pants to wear, I spot something on my folded up comforter I had on top of a tub of miscellaneous items. I look closer, and see it is some sort of sauce. I'm pissed at this point, because I have not had anything that remotely resembles that, and now for certain it wasn't blood. Also, I was pissed because the part of the comforter that was speckled with sauce was WHITE. I look down towards the floor, ad see in my roommate's box top that is lying right next to my tub, is a pair of folded up khaki pants, also speckled with sauce (though more covered in speckled sauciness.) I then remember, that El had Papa John's the other night, and had set the unopened (as far as I knew) pizza sauce containers on top of her dresser, which her box top is in front of and is right next to my dresser (which my tub with the comforter is in front of.) So I glance at her dresser, and there is still one unopened where she had placed them. I look more to the left, and there's the other one, overturned, and appears to be open.

What pisses me off about this whole thing, is the fact that she has yet to tell me what happened and apologize. Yes, i could bring it to her attention, but that would start a screaming match in my current mood, and that would be counter-productive. I find her not just owning up to the accident (because I do believe it was one) is insulting/disrespectful to the friendship that we have.

Another thing that is  (still) pissing me off-- JB and the book drama. I have not heard from him at all since i gave him the book that day in class and all he had on him was his bank card (which I am starting to suspect was a crock of S^&%). I want my money!

The contributing factor that I think to both aggravating situations is my birth control. Ever since the health insurance company changed my birth control to the generic of the generic, my mood swings have been resembling the mood swings that I had when I wasn't on any birth control. I think I'm going to have to talk to my mom (yet another uncomfortable layer to the upcoming conversation this weekend) and to my gyno to get put back on the pill I was originally on. do I have a temper on me? Absolutely, but for the littlest things to have me fuming inside, something's off. The b.c. I was originally on- I was calmer, not as wound up and stressed all the time. It's starting to progressively become the opposite with this one. If only may was here already...

This is NEVER a Good Thing (warning: tmi moments ahead)

Word of advice for those tha go away t college but still have a room to come home to at their parents house: NEVER let them "tackle it" (clean)! It is code for snooping. Actually, better advice would be never keep anything that your parents might find possibly incriminating, it comes back to bite ya big time!

I found this out this past weekend. I knew my mom was planning on "tackling" the upstairs soon, because there was a possibility of my eldest sister and her little family (hubby, stepdaughter when they have her, and child due in the next 3ish weeks) moving in til they found an apartment. You see, there was a whole drama with them living at Ph's brother's house. They were given til the end of February to find somewhere else to live and move out, or until the alienette was born, whichever happened first. So she did a cleaning spree upstairs. And I'm the first to admit it, I do not have the cleanest room. I have bad habits, that I'm working on while away at college. So, she goes upstairs to clean. She's in my room, and was going through stuff, and found some stuff you wish our mom/parents would never find if you had my parents. That's right, she found a couple of strawberry daquiri wine coolers from last year that I had hidden... and a bag of condoms and lubricant. Both easily explainable. The wine coolers, I brought back with me last spring break, after forgetting to give them to the friend (of legal drinking age) that i drove home. I was going to throw them away, but I have just never really found a time when they're not home and I remember to do that. Lame excuse, I know. But it's the truth. The condoms and lube she found-- that is going to be a not-so-fun conversation with her. At my school, they have "Condom Awareness Day" type of events every semester, where they pass out condoms, lubricant, things of that nature. Most of the time, it is of brands that I am not familiar with, so I don't use them. I only trust condom brands I recognize. She already knows I'm on birth control, but for a bigger reason than pregnancy prevention. I'm on it because I have naturally abnormal "flow," meaning starting in middle school, my "normal" was every other month to every 3 months. This continued in high school. In college, it got really bad. My sophomore year fall semester I went two months without having one, and that spring semester I went from the one mid-january to a few days after I came home for summer break in may! Ya, I was a hormonal wreck. That was the major reason(s) I went on the pill- to regulate when I had it and to help with moods. The pregnancy prevention was just an added bonus.

The truth is, I am not a virgin. Am I sexually active right now? No. I'm possibly one of those old-fogey types that doesn't really believe in casual sex/one night stands.I'm more comfortable with having sex if I'm in a relationship with someone. The whole casual sex might be someone else's thing, but it's not mine. I'm not knocking anyone that is into it, I'm just saying it's not for me personally.

From what I've found out from my sister, mom's not as pissed now about what all she found up there, and she only told dad about the alcohol (which believe me, that's a GOOD THING), but she believes the alcohol is from my freshman year in college because she found it in a tub that had stuff from that year in it. Though I did drink then, it is not from that year. If dad found out about the condoms and lube-- let's just say he'd turn purple at the very least.

My parents aren't the most open of parents out there. I know of friends whose parents they can talk to them about anything, would let them drink with them as long as they didn't drive. My parents are not those type of parents. They're more old school, slightly militaristic style of parenting (do chores without them having to tell you to do it, their way,no drugs, no sex before marriage, no drinking before you're of age). Though the last two, all three of us daughters (I'm the youngest of three)-- well I think H wasn't still a virgin on her wedding night, but that's not something I really care to know about her life *shudders*. Jenni, I know and the 'rents know she wasn't. The alcohol... that one was a gray area. High school it was a no-no. college dad was a little more relaxed, but only slightly. I'm of legal drinking age now, and I still don't feel comfortable drinking at home. Hense the hiding the alcohol.

I'm going home this weekend to help my eldest preggo sister J (as you know if you've read other posts, both are preggo eggos, so I've gotta differentiate somehow...) move into her family's new apartment. As of right now, she only has dad, Ph, and  our friend Techno Rob helping move. She's only allowed to hold doors open, no heavy lifting allowed! So, mom suggested to her asking me to come home and help with the move. Ph's brother that they're moving out of's house might help, which means I definitely gotta be there to mediate/referee, because there's gonna be tension rising amongst the brothers...

Haven't heard from H since I told her I'm putting her baby's quilt on hold until after he's born. J heard from her. Supposedly she "feels bad about not getting ahold of me". I'm not really buying it. Call it the English major in me, but that statement implies that she's actually tried to talk to me. I can tell you, between her tweeting and random facebook friend adding/status updating, she has not. And I get it. Her schedule is grueling, working from 5am-midnight most nights. But even that doesn't really hold up, because besides the internet usage,s he's also able to to converse with our dad every once in awhile when he's called her a couple of times that day. Most of the times, the rest of us, if we want to get ahold of her, we have to go through her husband/in-laws, which is not cool, slightly embarrassing according to mom. Who knows, this "relationship" between her and I might get better over time. We'll have to see. Onto slightly defending her. The Army-- not liking them so much right now. First, she wasn't going back to Afghanistan til November, then it was pushed up to sometime this summer, close to around her due date. Then it was pushed back to late fall. Now, it's back to august. This means, after she she'll have from circa May 25 til sometime in August to bond with her son- well her and her husband both, since they're both in the same battalion/unit (most military terms go over my head, but it's one of those two), and then she ships out and the kid comes to our parents house. Their dog Roadie and cat Speedbump are tentatively coming there also, but mom's trying to get the animals to go to the in-laws, since Dudley (if he's still alive at that point) is very territorial plus she doesn't really want to deal with the litter boxes. The in-laws are down to one dog now, Molly, and their cats (Trinity was put down after they found a cancerous tumor this past summer/fall and Emma was put down a few months later, I think because age caught up with her, not for sure..) so it wouldn't be as hectic for the two animals. The whole deploying 2-3 months after giving birth is somewhat aggravating, because for a little bit there, we had heard that the mother, if she's of Army personnel, get's six months to bond with the child, however the dad still deploys when scheduled. I guess my first guess of unless she's pregnant on date of deployment, the mom ships out. I feel bad for her, and for other military families that have to deal with this type of thing.

Onto another subject...

Had my first midterm today- Rhetoric and Reasoning. Not sure if I did very good on it. I'll be happy with a C on it, seeing as the professor is somewhat of a picky grader from what others and he himself has said. I have the first part of my second final tomorrow, concluding it on Friday. I'm hoping to do decently on there. I've had the professor in other classes before, so I know slightly how his tests can go. Should be interesting.

I saw JB (the guy that bought the book from me) today while waiting for the elevator. Definitely irritated with him. You see, he has yet to PAY for the book, even though I stupidly already handed it over to him (he came to Fundamentals of Criticism class with only his bank card.) He ignored my text message last Wednesday when I asked him to bring the money to class (that class was then canceled because of the road conditions near where the professor lives.Today, we saw each other in the hall, he ducked into the nook that held the drinking fountains. One can only infer that he was trying to avoid questioning about the money from me. If he shows up to class on Thursday, I think I'm going to have to tell him to either hand over the $15 he owes me for the book, or just give back the book, because I'm sick of the run-around. If you couldn't already tell, I don't like to mess around when it comes to money. Friends have burned me in the past, and I didn't like it in the slightest.

On the dating front... Still single. I think, with only having a year left in school, I think I'm just going to "give up" on dating for now, sotospeak. What I mean by that is, I don't really want to get involved with a guy that lives down here, then during breaks and after graduating have a long-distance relationship. Yes, some do great in those types of relationships, but personally, I don't find it fair to either person involved. So, unless the guy I get involved with is from around my hometown but is in school down here, it's not really worth getting hurt in the end. Yes, I know, my trust issues are shining through, but that's going to happen, and it's something that will heal only with time.

Well, I better get to studying for Part 1 of the Survey in American Literature 2 midterm tomorrow, seeing as Craig Ferguson's late late show is not really holding my attention at all. He's doing this experiment, not having an audience. Sorry, but it's not funny. He needs the audience to be funny. I'll try and blog after this weekend..

Laters :)

Exhausted

I am truely exhausted today, so I apologize for anything that doesn't make sense, typos, things of that nature.

J's baby shower was this past weekend. It was nice. No baby games (those games are not fun, sorry, but that's how many of us out there feel- even the guests cheered when they heard there would be no shower games), but lots of food and laughter. She got some nicve clothes. Lots of pink. If I ever have kids, and I have a girl, pink will not be allowed, mroe like blue/purple/green/black. I'm not a color pink fan in the slightest.  Yes, it has some to do with the hair and complexion (pale, redhead) but more or less, I'm not a girly girl. Not that I'm knocking those that like the color, but it's just not my tastes. Aunt C came, which was awesome. Saw many friends and family that I hadn't seen in a long time. Cousin Judy ( elderly cousin from my dad's side)was there, she's a riot, fell right into laughter with family on my mom's side. You gotta love that.

So my other preggo sister, H, did not show up, which we figured, seeing as she never responded to the invitation.Neither did our Gma A. We're starting to think that she (gma A) might be showing signs of dementia. It does run in the family. Pretty much I'm royally screwed when it comes to family medical history-- alzheimers/ dementia on both sides, diabetes, heart disease, cancer, congenital eye disease (where your vision starts to deterierate)... Ya, royally screwed.

After the shower, I went to get my hair chopped off. Before I cut it, it was around armpit length, and getting to be a hassle. Now, it's aboutright above shoulder length- pretty much a semi long bob hair cut. It's a hell of a lot easier to take care of, a whole lot more managable, more cost-effective (I was already halfway through my shampoo/conditioner that I had bought early/mid jaunary). I can still slightly pull it up, but it's easier to deal with down. I don't have to pull my hair up in order to keep my hair from possibly getting in my food while eating. A lot better.

I apologize for not writing much lately. I've had a lot of projects/papers to write, and next week starts mid-terms here, so I may or may not post something next week. Still working on the fiction stuff, I've just kindof got a case of writer's block when it comes to it.

On a somewhat happier note, We FINALLY had some major snow here, and they actually used their heads and called for a snowday. The school's policy is that we automatically close at level 3 snow emergency, will most likely stay open at a level 1, and if it's a level 2, then the provost checks the conditions  ON CAMPUS. That last part makes little sense, because the parking lots might be okay, however the majority of the students that attend here are COMMUTERS, and live in rural, seldom-plowed areas. Anyways, I went sledding with some friends that day. Banged my right kneww pretty bad, have a cresent purple bruise on my knee cap. My achilles is finally behaving, lol. It makes Bellydancing class a hell of a lot easier to deal with, especially since we're learning the performance coreography. I won't be performing (it's voluntary) because I'm still a little body conscious, but it is fun.

Another happy note- M, the remaining housemate of the M and T room from last semester that El and I didn't get along with-- is moving out! YAY! Sorry if I sound so chipper about that, but she's rarely at the dorm, meaning she's on more than one "no show lists" the professors have to turn into the bursars office (I know  she's on atleast one, seeing as she's supposed to be in a class with me.) Her current roommate, "Rik" (you guys know I don't do full names, lol) is still pretty nice. we haven't had any issues with her at all. After M finally comes and takes her stuff out, we'll be out of a microwave, but since El and I weren't really permitted to use it, it's not really bothering me.  We'll finally get M's air mattress that has been in the livingroom for week outta here (happy dance)!

My ipod thankfully still works after last weekend. you see, 15minutes into Valentine's day (technically still Saturday night, lol) I was heading to bed at my parent's house, when I wondered where my ipod was. I suddenly realized that the last time I had it, it was in my flannel shirt pocket (no knocking the flannel, lol! It's comfy and warm, even if it is slightly from the Nirvana-grunge era in rock.. still loving that band...) and couldn't remember removing it from the pocket. I ran to the backroom, opened the dryer, and there was the shirt, having gone through both the washer and the dryer, with my ipod in it's pocket! I was upset to say the least. I tried turning it on, but to no avail. It wouldn't turn on. Lookuing back, I was upset because now I wouldn't have a disguise to tune people out, a way to listen to my personal music selection, but also slightly because it was the last piece that tied me to my ex. I know, I know. I need to get over him already. And for the most part, I am. I am ready to date again, but I still was sad that one of the few things I kept from him was ruined ( I kept the mundane jewlery- stuff I picked out myself when we were at the mall from claire's because there were no sentimental value to them. Plus the bath &body works stuff, because I'm not wasting something that I liked before we dated. Besides I never really wore it for him, so Ha!) Anyways, I was going to watch a preview clip from the new season on Real housewives from NYC (I know I'm a reality tv addict, some of the shows are good, others I turn the channel on)and since my roommate was watching tv, I needed headphones. so I decided I would just see if the headphones still worked, thinking they probably wouldn't. But they did! So, I pulled out the ipod wall charger and charged it for a little bit, turned it on a little later, and it worked too! I'm so happy now that I don't have to save up money for a new one,t hat's kind of impossible on a college student's budget, so the earliest I would've had made a dent would've been the end of the semester when I sell my books back to the school.

Well, I have to get ready for my class in a little bit. I'll try and post next week, but I won't make any promises. I have my Rhetoric and Reasoning midterm on Tuesday, and Parts 1 and 2 of my Survey in American Literature 2 on Wednesday and Friday, so it might be next weekend by the time I post next.

Laters :)

Updates all around

Okay, first update- the fictional blogging. I've gotten the beginnings of a storyline mapped out. Also, I've got one, possibly two postings written in a notebook, however they are for further into the storyline. When I do start the fictional stuff, I have decided to just create a separate blog for them, and then share a link on here if I post on here on the same day, and vice-versa.

Next update- the roommate situation with El and the rest of the house. M is still M.I.A. most of the time, so it's been okay. However, I can tell she doesn't like me because of the other day. You see, we have to do Roommate agreements every year. usually, it's just once a year, however, since T moved out and R moved in, we have to redo ours. So As I was coming back from class, I ran into her as I was entering the dorm and she was leaving. I asked her when would be a good time for all of us to sit down to hash out the agreement, since it's required. She said harshly "No, whenever's fine." Obviously, there's not much cordiality between us. I ran into R going into dinner Friday, asked her the same thing, she said whenever we're all at the dorm is fine. She seems really nice, almost a breath of fresh air. So sometime this week, we're all sitting down for 10-15ish minutes, and hasing out what is for everyone's usage, what's personal, cleaning stuff, etc.

el an dI- well, you could say it's a day-by-day thing. Some days we get along fine. Others- notsomuch. Today, I got really peeved with her. Because of her epilepsy, she's not allowed to drive. Well, today, she went with a mutual friend of ours to work at Papa Johns. I found out about this last night, granted. I get a text from her around 2:30pm, saying "I'll share my large if you come rescue me." She wanted to be picked up from PJ's, because our friend wasn't slated to be off til 8pm, but realistically because of the Superbowl, 10pm. From my perspective, i get that she's not allowed to drive, but if you knew in advance you were going to be working somewhere that day and you don't drive, I would have a ride lined up IN ADVANCE, not "asking" when you need picked up. I texted her back "Sorry, can't." A couple hours later, Em and I were walking back from dinner in the UC, when she gets the same text from El, asking for a ride. Em obviously couldn't, seeing as she doesn't have a car down here, something that El found out last night, and that Em has told her before at the beginning of the semester. We haven't really talked since she got back shortly before the halftime show.

School's going okay. I have a couple papers/presentations coming up. I go home this weekend for J's baby shower! As of this past Friday, she was 6 weeks away from her due date, til my little alienette niece comes into the world! The baby shower should be interesting, with the array of people that to be at the shower, plus with those that have yet to RSVP.

Well, I gotta get read for bed.  Probably this weekend, either before or after the shower, I plan on chopping my hair off. It's about armpit length right now, but it's just getting to annoying to mess with. i usually just put it up in a bun, or a ponytail. I'm thinking of chopping it to the length that Jennifer Nettles (Sugarland) or Kate Walsh (Gray's Anatomy/Private Practice) have their hair. I just need a change.

Work in progess

I know i've stated this more than once on here, but I'm working on some fiction stuff to post. I was sitting in my Fundamentals of Criticsim class (9:30 AM-- ICK), the professor was droning on about the New Critics. Don't get me wrong, I love to read, but that earl in the morning, I have trouble concentrating the whole time. I did take notes, but luckily it is a mostly online class! It was only slightly awkward when I saw JB in class today. He sits a couple rows in front of me in the room, so it was okay from that standpoint.

Back to the fictional entries... I'm thinking sometime this weekend I'll post the first one, but I need some feedback before I do. In your opinion, should I just jump write into the drama, or should I put together a little bit of introduction, THEN jump into it?

Well, I have class in the morning, so I should get to bed. Later Gators!

False Alarm

Welcome, you're reading the blog entries of a bonified idiot. That guy I was talking about in the previous blog, JB? Ya, he never got my "sorry i kinda have plans with friends" text to the want to get dinner question. I know this because I went to send him one, asking if he just wanted me to just bring the book to class tomorrow. Turns out, he was kidding about the whole dinner question. I'm kinda disappointed, because I had started to get excited about the possibility of dating somebody new. I'll survive, lol. There is one good thing that came out of this though. It showed me that i actually am ready to get back out there. I guess when I said last March I was taking a year off from dating after the breakup, it was going to be a year, lol.

Well, there's the update. later gators.

Damn! I'm Rusty...

I... am a DUMBASS! *hits heads countless number of times against wall/pillow/bed*

You see, I left a little bit out about the guy that I was irked with for being a no show (the guy that's supposed to buy my women's studies book) well he texted me as I was getting out of Rhetoric and Reasoning today, but I didn't get them til I was back at the dorm because I left my phone here during class. What I left out about him (we'll call him JB) is that I think he's kinda cute, and have a tiny bit of a crush on him too, not that he'll ever know about it.. Anyways here's how the text convo went.

JB: Boo.

JB: Ahem... I said "boo."

Me: o..k. um, who is this? (He had my number, but I didn't have his)

JB: John! I wanted to buy a book. Criticism class... The handsome guy with a stupid beard?

Me: lol. what time did you want to meet @the uc to buy it from me?

JB: I dunno, want to get dinner?




See, the reason I'm a dumbass, is because I'm REALLY rusty at the whole dating thing. My last boyfriend (that will forever be a douchebag in my book and if he follows his m.o. and shows up on my doorstep/parents doorstep in a year or so, i'm gonna make it really hard for him to have kids/sex) and I rarely went on dates. We normally hung out wherever he was living at the time. I think we went on one solo date and a couple of group things that possibly constituted as a date, but prolly not. As you can see, not much experience in the whle going out on dates department.

I, for some reason, heard a little voice inside my head saying "aren't you not supposed to accept a date if he asks on the day he wants to go out?" And like a dumbass, I followed it. I texted him back, saying "sorry have plans with friends tonight." Yes it was a lie at the time, but now I am meeting up with my friend Em at the UC for dinner. What makes me a dumbass in this situation though, is the fact that I forgot to ask for a raincheck on the dinner thing.

I may be rusty, but he did come across as a little bit flirtatious in the texting. Was he really asking me out on a date, or am I just reading too much into this? I'll see him in class thursday morning, so that should be interesting. I'm so in need of a slight crash course in dating, lol, *groan*

Achilles tendonitis

So, this past week or so have been not fun at all. About two weeks ago, I was diagnosed with Tendinitis in my right Achilles. It SUCKS having this. Last night, going down the stairs, I had to start laughing to keep from crying, it hurt so bad. The Quack (school clinic doc that's prescription happy-- he once gave me a scrip for a z-pack when he said i had a COLD) prescribed a steroid, but I really don't feel like ballooning up, so I'm taking the occasional ibuprofen. Not really helping when its a pain day though.

I've had the room for the past couple days to myself- El's getting checked out at a clinic for a chronic condition. According to her fb, she might be getting released today, though I don't know if that means she'll be coming straight back to school or waiting til next week to come back. Is it bad I'm kind of hoping she doesn't come back til Sunday like she said she would?

This guy I was crushing on, that's in one of my class-- sadly, I'm pretty sure he's got a girlfriend . :( I need to stop crushing on unavailable guys. A little irked with this other guy though that's in a different class with me. He was supposed to buy my women's studies book from me yesterday around 5, he has my number so he could call. I got no phone call, nothing yesterday. So I'm thinking he's just waiting tilour class meets up on Thursday to just get the book from me.Who knows. Why are boys so misleading?

Well, this girl's gotta hobble along, get ready for my 12:30 class, and then walk through the snow to class. Sorry about the brief posting. I'll try to post once more this week.

Fantasy boyfriends/lovers

So, I've been single for almost a year (a year this march). for a while now, I've been having daydreams/fantasies if you wanna call them, about Christian Kane (played Lyndsay on Angel, plays Eliot on Leverage *swoon*) being my boyfriend. He would be the type of guy I can see myself being with- the rugged, somewhat bad boy look to him, a little bit cowboy, decent hair (the length isn't an issue for me, as long as he knows how to maintain it).

I find myself wishing my daydreams were real, if I could escape into them, that they could be my actual life. I'm sick of being a college student. I'm somewhat afraid to be an aunt to two kids (both sisters pregnant- H with a boy, J with a girl), with H and her husband being so non-communicative when it comes to something as simple as what colors or theme preference do they possibly have with a baby quilt I was going to make them. I say WAS because I've decided that (even though it's a bitchy move) I'm not making them a baby quilt at this point. They'd find something wrong with it, or just not appreciate it.I'm still gonna make one for J's kid, because, well, she appreciates it more. I'm sick of the things I do in order to have some semblance of a relationship with H get unacknowledged by her. I'm sick of feeling hurt by her, when i know it should be expected. I'm sick of caring what she thinks when all that comes across to me is that she doesn't give two shits about anyone but herself and her little life away from the rest of us.


I'm sorry. I had started this entry a couple days ago discussing  my celeb crush(es). But then I was on my Facebook, went to my sister's and her husband's pages, and saw that it's been almost a week since I had written them the most recent time about the color/theme preference on their boy's quilt, and there is still no response. I would be more understanding, if H hadn't been on her account just yesterday talking about our high school.

I apologize to everyone, but you could say this f*&^ed up relationship with my sister started out bad. My sisters were brought to my mom's room after she had me, and H said "I wanted a baby brother." It's a running joke to the rest of the family. you know, most sisters/siblings go through this type of phase, but they grow out of it. With her and I, we have brief periods where we're cordial at best, but it soon resorts back to what it is now. At least now wee live in different states. And I get that her life is significantly busier and at times a hell of a lot more stressful than mine, but when you have enough time to write a tiny blurb on your facebook about our high school and write stupid nonsense on your twitter at least once a day, but can't answer your own sister about a gift for your unborn child, it creates a breaking point.

If she does eventually answer me, then I will make the quilt, but I'm not counting on it. Most likely, her kid won't get the quilt made for him until he comes to live with my parents while they're deployed next fall (that is if he comes to live with them).

I know I sound like a heartless bitch right now, but this has been building up for a long time. I know her son, my nephew is collateral damage in all of this, and I wish he wasn't, but you all have to understand, I'm sick of the frustration and disappointment that comes with her.


I'll try and talk about the celeb crush(es) another post. Sorry about the rant/bitchfest, but I needed to say it.

There Goes the Hot Water

Well, looks like I get a cold shower tonight. Our hot water tank sucks in our dorm. If we run the heater, there's going to be very little hot water available for the shower. Which is why I'm a little bit peeved right now. You see, I was getting ready to go take a shower. El got up, grabbed her shower stuff, and went into the bathroom to take one. Which means, by the time I get in there for mine, there will be only cold water left, because she takes around 30 minute showers. Granted, I  take around 20 minute shower, but I try to take shorter ones. She's just getting on my nerves. I'm pretty sure I'm not going to be living with her next year. Right now, I'll probably be living with Em.

As you can tell, I'm back at school. Break was okay. Found out H is having a boy, meaning I'll be an aunt to J's Lady Alien in March, and an aunt to H's Sir Whoseit in May. found out when I got back that T is not coming back. Instead, M has a new roommate, R. She's nice, from the times I've interacted with her. M seems to be mellow this semester, from what little I've seen of her. She's in my Rhetoric and Reasoning class (which she missed the first day- according to the prof, you miss 3 days, you gotta drop it).I'm hoping this semester goes smoother than the last one.

As for my resolution, I don't have one :) I mean, I could do the stereotypical "I wanna loose X pounds," but in reality, those never work out. I'm in a bellydancing class this semester. you could call it my "fun" class. It is, it leads to soreness, but it is fun.


Well.. I gotta go and see if there's any remnants of hot water left for me to shower with before I get some sleep tonight since she's finally out (30minutes, not including the time spent in there afterward). I'll try and post atleast once a week, and possibly throw in some fiction stuff that goes through my head.

Laters :)

Stupid Jaw

So, I have been under the influence since last Thursday, because I had all four wisdom teeth removed (FINALLY). Let me tell you, even with the prescribed pain meds and the ibprufen (doc said it was ok to take with p.m. but not tylenol) and the icing of the cheeks/jaws, it still hurt like hell! Though we all thought it wasn't possible, I was paler than a sheet of paper the first day or so. My jaw is still somewhat stiff, but I'm able to eat less liquidy foods now. I'm down to just the ibprufen now. Not liking the salt-water rinses every 4-6 hours though. I have to do those through Christmas Eve. Not fun. Technically the bright side to those salt water rinses is they are a way to prevent getting the flu, from what I've heard.

I'm officially on break til January 3rd, so, I'll try and write when I can. Hopefully in the next week I'll be able to get together with some friends and see the Boondock Saint: All Saints Day film in theaters. Who know, I'll keep y'all posted.

Silent Treatment

Ah, silence, I remember you. It's the treatment I'm apparently getting from E right now. The only thing I seem to be able to chalk it up to is the fact that I'm growing close with Em again and her and the rest of the group are not as fond as Em as I am. Yesterday, I had lunch with Em, and MM decided to sit down with us (MM is our former roommate that we've both lived with over the past two years on campus). It was kinda awkward to say the least. At dinner yesterday, MM and E decided they were going to sit with Em, me and the rest of the group that Em hangs out with now (they're an awesome group of people, some louder/shyer than others). Well.. eating with us is nt the proper term I should use. E got her tray of food, then MM got there, they left to get their picture with "Santa" and were gone forever. In the span of time that they were gone, I made plans to hang out with Em and the rest of the group that night. MM and E got back right as we were all getting ready to leave to get the snacks and stuff for the night.

The night was a blast. A little awkward towards the non-sober part of the night, but a blast none the less. I get back to the dorm around 11, E's reading. I say "hi" quietly and start to settle down for the rest of the night- off with the shoes, coat, setting down the munchies bag, stuff like that. That was all the conversation for the rest of the night. I went to bed around 3am, she was starting to get ready, which really annoyed me, because she can not quietly put her computer away, the cords, clear off her bed to save her life. That's what I woke up to around noon/1pm today- her computer cords and whatnot being moved around loudly. Now let me clarify something. I did NOT have a hangover this morning. In fact, the last time i got a hangover was probably junior year of high school*, so the sound wasn't being amplified by hangover status, it was amplified by her getting up for the day. The most we've talked today, is me commenting on the sparse snow that was on my car, and her asking me if I would either rescue a real dog or buy a mechanical one. other than that, not a word. She had country music on ALL DAY. I can sometimes stand it, but all day, and mixed with country holiday music? I pulled out my ipod and cranked up the headphone volume.

We didn't even eat dinner together. I left for dinner a while before her. When I was finishing up, she came in, set her stuff at an adjacent table, then got in line for food. On the subject of cafeteria food- let me just say, that even though I'm not a big steak eater, my gma A (who pretty much ruins roast beef and other dishes) could cook a less tough steak! Anyways, back to the silent treatment. She came back a lil while ago from dinner, grabbed her bag of trash that was hanging off her bed, and left again. So.. should be interesting the next few days.

Another interesting thing is that MM sent all of us (excluding Em) an invite to eat together at the finals breakfast on Monday night. I found the exclusion of her interesting. I get that they aren't as close, but this shunning of Em and silent treatment I'm receiving right now is almost seems like they're trying to convey that I can't be friends with both groups, like a "Em or E/MM" type of situation. And really, at this point, I'd rather be friends with just Em than them. who knows, maybe it'll be different after break. Hopefully. But one thing that is for sure, I'm not living in the same room as E next year. Em and I have already decided that (if) she lives on campus next year, her and I are rooming together. I already know there will be moments where we might get on each others nerves, but after her roommate from slore land (sleeping with multiple guys, hanging out in their room naked and Em walking in on it, stuff like that and more) she'll hopefully be a better roomie than in the past year that we lived in the same house together.

Well, I better get to studying while I still have the quietness of the room to myself. I probably won't be able to post again til Tuesday. If not Tuesday, than probably not until next Saturday or something because I'm getting my wisdom teeth taken out next Thursday. well, happy holidays to y'all. Laters!

*This incident I'm talking about-- i was in high school, was on the soccer team. Parents were outta town for some thing up at my sisters college, so they were gone for a couple days. a friend of mine had given me a minibar bottle of vodka, i had a little bit with some lemon juice. The next day (which incidentally was a game day for the st) I had a bad hangover, which my friends pounced on the opportunity to torture me with. Needless to say, that was my only high school drinking experience, besides drinking a couple of punch at a school dance that turns out was spiked (found out after I drank it from a friend). Also, to clarify something-- I don't drink that often, and I don't drive after/while drinking. It's stupid to do that because you and/or someone else can get hurt. It's not worth it.




Edit: We're talking a lil bit again, so hopefully the next few days ges okay, along with finals i have to write.

discovering the growing gap

So.. I'm discovering that with age, and with pregnancy, the gap between H and I is ever-growing. The sense of getting along at J's wedding must have been a fluke. I've tried reaching out to her since hearing of her pregnancy, to talk, to seek out her help on a class project, to see what type of theme her and her husband were thinking of for their child, and she has yet to return a facebook message, a phone call, anything. I called her tonight, and since she didn't answer, I tried something else. That's right, I called her husband. He was not helpful. He said they don't know the sex of the baby yet (which I would guess they wouldn't seeing as she's not due until around the end of May the last we heard. J just found out she's having an alienette*, and she's due late-March) but he left the theme of the baby quilt up to me. So pretty much it was kinda a waste of time calling him. So mostlikely, I will end up making their kid a monkey themed quilt. J is getting a Winnie the Pooh/ Hundred Acre Woods-themed baby quilt.

Fall semester is almost over. THANK GOD! I'm to the point where my head wants to shut down/explode. It's the time in the semester where I wanna say "I quit being an English major, just give me the Communication classes!*" It's exhausting! What works on the frazzled nerves is my roommate. Now don't get me wrong, E is a great person, and we usually get along. HOWEVER, right now, I'm to the point where she's annoying me to no end. The constant history channel/documentaries/ghost shows.. I admit it, I like SOME reality tv shows.I like watching shows like Gray's Anatomy/Private Practice, Army Wives, etc. However, she thniks shows lie gray's are soap operas, and mocks reality shows. She likes to be "mentally stimulated" by her shows. Me? I most of the time, just like to let my mind shut down, I like some mindless television. I sometimes watch documentaries on musicians, actors- shows that have some entertainment value, but I'm not a history buff like her and my Dad are. I'm not into that sort of thing. But that's not the only thing that's bothering me with her lately.

I will admit, in this blog, I vent a lot about The Children. Since the meeting, they haven't been acting out.They've been pretty quiet when they are here, though in the past week they've been not in the dorm. M has been here, T has not shown up yet after Thanksgiving weekend. I pointed this out to E, and she got a snobbish attitude, saying stuff along the lines of "good, I hope she never comes back." As much as I get annoyed/aggravated by some of their antics, I'm not going to go that far. I'm at least going to put some effort into being civil towards them. Another thing that's annoying me with her, is her leg. She has a case of MRSA on her leg, which it IS healing, but she doesn't see anything wrong in massaging her leg near it because she has a charlie-horse but not washing her hands afterward to stop the germs from getting on things like the remote, the door handles, the light switches, etc.Granted, she is on 3 different antibiotics, but I don't want it, and it's unsanitary. I talked to Em the other day at lunch, and we talked about possibly rooming together next fall if she lives on campus. Her and I have had our problems in the past with similar issues, but since she's had to deal with her hellish roommate this year, she's toned it down and shaped up. We get along better this year than in the past. Hopefully she actually does live on campus next year. And hopefully E and I get along enough next semester to not want to throttle each other over stupid stuff. I get that the size of the room, the proximity to each other all the time, and the proximity to the end of the semester play a factor, but it's just getting to be too much to deal with all the time. I might seem like I'm constantly bitching about stuff other things do. I know I get on others nerves, I know that I'm not perfect, but I try to put in an effort to not irk others, even if we don't get along all the time.

I'll blog possibly later this week. If not, I'll blog after I get home after finals next Tuesday/Wednesday. Hopefully, I'll be able to tell you how awesome Boondock Saints:All Saints Day is (I'm planning on seeing it either tuesday or wednesday, even if none of my hometown friends don't take up the invitation to see it with me. Well, I'm off to try and get some sleep shortly. Later to my less than 5 readers (really? I doubt more than that read this. If there are, thank you for being entertained by my sometimes melodramatic life.)

*Lil Alienette is the nickname for J's baby. It was lil alien before she found out the sex of the baby, and now that we know it's a girl, its alienette. H's baby's nickname is lil whoseit. Not creative, but it's better than nicknames like boogerbutt, small fry, lil snot, etc.