With last week, there came a realization-- my sister will be deploying in around 20 days. As much as I wish I could be there, I unfortunately have a senior seminar paper presentation the last day any of us will see her before she deploys. Since her husband is already overseas, the guardianship of their little boy will be split between my parents and her in-laws. It's kindof a dual- grandparenting, if you will.
The next year or so is going to be a stressful one. Not only with that situation, but with the fact that in the next year, I will have graduated from school and be working to move out of my parents house, get a long-term job, etc. here's to hoping that the stress I feel while being in school dissipates substantially once I graduate. I do realize though the stress will be replaced somewhat with other stresses, such as paying student loans and other things.
Last weekend I went home, had a dentist appointment (found a cavity sadly) and stopped at Half-Price Books. This bookstore, the last time I had any contact with Mike, was where he worked. We have dissolved that friendship since then, so I was a little nervous about going in there, in case he was working. I pulled into the parking lot, and didn't see his car, so I was relieved. HOWEVER, I was in the romance fiction section in the front and hear a familiar voice coming from the back of the store (the area where you sell books to the store). I recognized it immediately as his. I mouthed "F***!" I had a little bit of a mental freak out to tell the truth. It kind of put a damper on the trip to the store, seeing as it would have been awkward if I was to go into the young adult section right next to the sell counter in the back. I have not seen him since before dissolving the friendship sadly.
Do I miss the friendship? Absolutely. But do I think that we could ever possibly get that friendship back? I'm not so sure. What I mean by this is in high school we had many similarities. As we've grown up, we've branched off from those similarities, to the point where the foundation isn't as strong anymore. I miss having the male sounding board, the shoulder to cry on, the friend I could just hang out and be myself and not feel I need to act a certain way. In the past year, a lot of friendships I've had have "parted ways" if you will. Mainly because it was a friendship out of association. Without those associations, there was cordiality, but no real friendship base. You could say instead of having a large amount of friends that most are not very solid, I have a small core group of friends that are solid and have been friends with for a long time, and will continue to be.
I'm going home again this weekend. My mom is at H's house helping her pack up and keep Liam entertained. She won't be back til sometime Saturday, possibly early morning Sunday with her history of not leaving H's til early evening (6 1/2 hour drive from H's to mom's house). Dad is going down early Friday to help paint two of her rooms back to Army White (one is currently red, the other yellow), so I will be going home to dog sit Earl. Also, I have to go back to the dentist to get the cavity filled.
Well, I need to get some sleep. Tomorrow I have two classes, and in between the classes, I have to write circa 4000 words of my senior seminar paper (had to switch topics, so its from starting line-- eek!) On top of that I also need to write the abstract for the essay. I can't wait til this weekend, when I can sleep more than 6ish hours- lat night I got 4 if I'm lucky, after working on a different project til 2am and not falling asleep til after 3, getting up around 7ish. Is it Friday yet???
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